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John Mcguinness

‘THIS BRUISER OF A NURSE SAID SHE WOULD SLOT IT BACK IN AGAIN...’

‘THIS BRUISER OF A NURSE SAID SHE WOULD SLOT IT BACK IN AGAIN...’

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‘ON HER BIRTHDAY, BECKY GAVE ME A BED BATH AND WIPED MY ARSE’

‘ON HER BIRTHDAY, BECKY GAVE ME A BED BATH AND WIPED MY ARSE’

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'THE ULSTER GP IS MENTAL – AND THAT’S BEFORE YOU GET ON A BIKE!'

'THE ULSTER GP IS MENTAL – AND THAT’S BEFORE YOU GET ON A BIKE!'

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“THE TRACK HADN’T BEEN AS GOOD SINCE WOMEN HAD HAIRY FANNIES”

“THE TRACK HADN’T BEEN AS GOOD SINCE WOMEN HAD HAIRY FANNIES”

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‘IT’S QUITE SIMPLY THE BEST RACE, AND THE BEST FEELING, IN THE WORLD’

‘IT’S QUITE SIMPLY THE BEST RACE, AND THE BEST FEELING, IN THE WORLD’

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‘I WAS WEARING MY WIFE’S TIGHTS AND HAD SPAR PLASTIC BAGS OVER MY FEET...’

‘I WAS WEARING MY WIFE’S TIGHTS AND HAD SPAR PLASTIC BAGS OVER MY FEET...’

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‘HIROTOSHI HONDA DID 25 ONE-HANDED PRESS-UPS IN FRONT OF ME AFTER TAKING THE PISS OUT OF ME ABOUT MY WEIGHT!’

‘HIROTOSHI HONDA DID 25 ONE-HANDED PRESS-UPS IN FRONT OF ME AFTER TAKING THE PISS OUT OF ME ABOUT MY WEIGHT!’

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‘WHEN THE HIRE CAR HIT 175KPH I THOUGHT “IF THIS MAKES IT BACK, IT’S A MIRACLE”’

‘WHEN THE HIRE CAR HIT 175KPH I THOUGHT “IF THIS MAKES IT BACK, IT’S A MIRACLE”’

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‘DOING GARY JOHNSON AROUND THE OUTSIDE AT MACAU LOOKED GREAT ON THE TELLY!’

‘DOING GARY JOHNSON AROUND THE OUTSIDE AT MACAU LOOKED GREAT ON THE TELLY!’

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“I LANDED ON MY KIPPER WITH ENOUGH FORCE TO SNAP MY NECK BRACE IN HALF”

“I LANDED ON MY KIPPER WITH ENOUGH FORCE TO SNAP MY NECK BRACE IN HALF”

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'I'D RATHER GUIDE MY DAD INTO MY MUM THAN GO BACK TO BRICKLAYING'

'I'D RATHER GUIDE MY DAD INTO MY MUM THAN GO BACK TO BRICKLAYING'

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'I NEARLY CRASHED MY VAN WHEN I HEARD THAT GUY WAS MY TEAM-MATE'

'I NEARLY CRASHED MY VAN WHEN I HEARD THAT GUY WAS MY TEAM-MATE'

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'I COUNTED 97 LEATHER SUITS AND 86 CRASH HELMETS IN MY LOFT...'

'I COUNTED 97 LEATHER SUITS AND 86 CRASH HELMETS IN MY LOFT...'

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'I LEFT THE CLUB AT 7.30 AM, AND MADE THE 9.20AM FLIGHT TO TOKYO'

'I LEFT THE CLUB AT 7.30 AM, AND MADE THE 9.20AM FLIGHT TO TOKYO'

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'YOU APPROACH IT AT 180MPH, BANG IT DOWN, AND THROW IT IN'

'YOU APPROACH IT AT 180MPH, BANG IT DOWN, AND THROW IT IN'

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'BROGAN TRIED TO STICK HIS THUMB UP MY ARSE AS HE PASSED ME'

'BROGAN TRIED TO STICK HIS THUMB UP MY ARSE AS HE PASSED ME'

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'IN 100MPH CORNER THE PATON IS AS FAST AS MY SUPERBIKE'

'IN 100MPH CORNER THE PATON IS AS FAST AS MY SUPERBIKE'

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